June 9: Killer Hat, Man!

The game had just finished and I had a hankerin' for some ice cream. Unfortunately, my supply was out and I was forced to walk up the hill to the nearest gas station to pick a pint up for myself. When I entered the store, I noticed that the Mexican attendant was wearing what looked to be a brand new Washington Nationals baseball hat.

The game I had been watching was none other than that of the Nationals and Pirates where Stephen Strasburg was making his highly anticipated Major League debut. He was absolutely dominant and worthy of the media attention he had been receiving for the past year or so.

I don't normally make a habit of talking to people based on what ball cap they happen to be wearing, but because of the coincidence of Strasburg's debut and the gas station clerk's hat, I thought I would engage in a friendly baseball chat. I grabbed my Blue Bell Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream and approached the counter.

"Did you see Strasburg's game tonight?" I asked casually.

The Hispanic man ignorantly smiled and shook his head while making some kind of nonsensical noise. "Are you a fan of the Nationals, or do you just like the hat?" I asked trying to save him from his embarrassment of being talked to like a human being. Again, he smiled like an idiot and with a goofy little chuckle he said, "hat."

I hate this thing people do with the baseball hats. I can't understand why someone would wear a $35 dollar hat with a team logo on it just because they like the style. I like the little leprechaun that Notre Dame uses for a mascot, but I don't know anything about the school or the athletics department. Sure, I got a pair of Fightin' Irish boxers after I saw Rudy, but that wasn't necessarily an article of clothing that could start many conversations.

You like the white curly W on a solid red hat? Why? Because it's the same W that Walgreens uses? If you don't know anything about a team, don't wear their gear. If you absolutely have to wear it, make sure you don't wear it on the team's biggest game. People that know a thing or two about the team will ask you questions about the game. You're going to have to answer those questions by responding that you don't know what they're talking about.

I can't tell you how many times I've approached a guy wearing a Padres hat in hopes that he would know that day's score only to be told that he just likes that hat. Really? An S and a D interweaving with each other? Yeah, it's spectacular, isn't it? It's such a revolutionary idea for the world of fashion. Do me and the rest of the sporting world a favor and wear a Quicksilver hat instead.