June 15: Solved

I figured it out. Up until two seconds ago while resting my face in my arms trying to come up with something to write about, I didn't know how they were doing it. I figured out how my place of employment was keeping me there against my will.

The only day I have off in the week is Tuesday. When my schedule allows it, I sleep until noon and sit in front of the computer watching Seinfeld clips on YouTube until it's time to shower and go in for another miserable night of serving enchiladas to ingrates. I'm given every Tuesday off, so why haven't I used the time to find a better job?

I have failed to find something better because my employer is a genius. He schedules me forty to fifty hours of running around in the hot Austin air every week. When Tuesday rolls around, I'm too exhausted to work up the effort to go out looking for something better. My day off is spent playing baseball and then crashing for the remainder of the day.

I can't not play baseball because, let's face it, it's baseball and Brandon doesn't live without baseball. Congratulations, almighty employer. Your evil ways are recognized, but now that I know the secret, I pledge to beat this system of yours.