January 31

There isn't anything wrong with wanting some alone time. We all need a break from each other now and then. I love living by myself because it's nice to go home after a long day of work and just relax in whatever way I want. I can sit and watch TV, read, listen to music as loud as I want, or just go to sleep.

Even if you don't live by yourself, it's still nice to get away. When I had roommates, I found that spending the day at the movies was a nice break. A lot of people think that going to the movies alone is sad and pathetic, but when you're sitting in a dark room and you aren't supposed to talk to who you're there with, I find that it's a perfect place to be alone.

A restaurant, on the other hand, is different. I could never eat by myself at a restaurant where the guest is waited on. Everyone that walks by can see you sitting there by yourself and not talking with anyone. Some people are okay with it. They find ways to entertain themselves. Some read books, magazines, or newspapers. Others sit and listen to radio programs or music. Some patrons even go as far as watching DVDs on portable players.

There really isn't anything wrong with visiting a restaurant by yourself if that's your thing, but you have to realize that it does look a little unusual. If you're aware that other people notice you sitting there by yourself and that doesn't bother you, then go for it. If you find yourself in the situation where you're there without anything to keep yourself occupied with though, do not make the mistake that a woman made on her recent visit to the restaurant where I work.

Throughout the entire meal, everything was going smoothly. She was one of those guests that just sat there and played with her food for 45 minutes because she didn't have anything else to do. When I dropped the check, she leaned towards me with a plate full of food in front of her. "I have two things to tell you," she said. Because she had barely eaten any of her food, I was convinced she was going to complain about the entree. I was just about to apologize and put on my "I'm just an unintelligent server at a dead-end restaurant" face when she continued. "The first thing is, did you know you can milk anything with nipples? The second thing is, did you know you can put anything into a tortilla?"

This woman was probably in her mid to late thirties so she didn't have the excuse of deterioration of an aged brain. I don't think she was retarded because she had made it this far into the meal without any other hiccups. What on Earth would possess her to tell me either of these things? I knew the first thing she "had" to tell me was a quote from Meet The Parents, but it didn't have anything to do with anything! She wasn't drinking milk, my nipples weren't visible and I'm pretty sure her nipples weren't showing either. The line literally came from nowhere! The tortilla comment, I could sort of understand. If I remember correctly, she did in fact have a tortilla on the side of her entree. But because the line was prefaced with a line about nipples and milking it was guilty of absurdity by association. I no longer felt obligated to make small talk with this particular loner. I wanted to get her payment and leave the general vicinity of my section and not return until she had made her exit.

There isn't anything wrong with doing things by yourself. There are, however, a few things that people should keep in mind if they go against the norm. When you put yourself out there for the purpose of some alone time, you might look little awkward or odd, but when you tell your server that "You can milk anything with nipples" without any reason, you will be forever remembered as a complete lunatic.