July 23: The Regular

This one goes out to all of you restaurant workers. What is the deal with the restaurant regular? I mean, really. I've worked at two other restaurants before the one I'm currently employed by. The first restaurant I worked at had it's regulars and I'm sure the second one did too. I only worked at the second one for six months so I didn't really notice anybody over and over again. The current one, however, tops them all.

Normally a restaurant regular is some lonely dude that sits at the bar every night, watches SportsCenter or the game of the day, has a few beers, maybe makes a creepy comment to a pretty young thing that sits next to him, and leaves. One guy, three or four beers, maybe something small to munch on, and that's it.

It's a whole different ballgame at this place. Families come in and sit in the dining room at least once a week. Couples come in and sit in the dining room every night. They order food every night. It's not always the same thing, but it's something. Do you want to know how bad it is? These "regulars" are so bad that they're invited to the company Christmas party; and they attend!

Now, I understand what's going on from a business' point of view. But what about a pride thing? Don't these people have any at all? Don't they realize how pathetic they look to everyone that works there? Every day? Really? They come in like it's no big deal. News flash: It's a giant deal. You eat dinner at the same place every single night of the week. "Gee, Honey. Where do you want to eat tonight?" Are you kidding me?!

Not only is it a pathetic display of having nothing better to do, but a funny thing happens to a person when they go to the same place over and over again; they believe they are above everyone else. All of a sudden it's okay for them to order off-menu items and make the strangest requests. They know the inventory better than the waiters so they know that the kitchen has cocktail sauce when it's no where to be found on the menu. They know to ask for refried black beans and white cheese on their nachos instead of the standard refried beans and yellow cheese.

I don't know about you, but if I ever found myself visiting a restaurant every day of the week and the entire staff knew who I was, I would feel a little intimidated come gratuity time. After all, I would be seeing the server the next day and remembering who I am goes a little further than face recognition. With that being said, how can that lady that doesn't tip anything at all continue to show her face?

I'm not exaggerating here either. This lady isn't an every day-er, but she still comes in once a week. She's not overly needy or bossy, but she never leaves a tip. Never. I had the pleasure of serving her once and when it was time to get her her change, I brought the exact amount hoping that she would at least leave the coins. Wrong. That ugly, fat chick took every last penny and left me nothing.

If you can't cook or you don't have any friends, going to the same restaurant is not the answer. I'm the perfect example. I can't cook and I don't have any friends, but I don't visit the local bar every night to get my chicken wings. I go through the drive-thru and I live on a steady diet of strawberry frosted Pop-Tarts. If I had the money and the lack of pride to visit the same place every night, I would at least leave something and I definitely would not attend the company Christmas party. But that's just me.