July 13: Sunglasses Are Not Goggles

In the summer of 2004 I had a friend that worked as a lifeguard at a local community pool. One of the perks she received with her job was a fifty percent discount on major brands of sunglasses. When I found this out, I immediately placed an order for a pair of $125 shades.

Because it was summer and she was a friend from college, I lived about an hour away from her when the shipment came in. Luckily a mutual friend was throwing a birthday party and we were both invited. It was the perfect opportunity to collect my new shades because the party just happened to be a beach party!

The day of the big event arrived and I was more excited to get my new sunglasses than I was about seeing all of my friends and celebrating the birth of one of them. I wasn't disappointed either. The glasses looked sharp with their glossy, black finish and their polarized lenses were easy on my eyes as we walked on the hot sand to the party.

I dropped off my belongings with my friends' and said my hellos before venturing into the cold Pacific waves. As I waded into the frothy waters, one of my friends asked me if I thought I should put my sunglasses with my things. I had been waiting a long time to wear them so I wasn't about to just abandon the shades when all I was going to be doing was jumping over waves in relatively shallow waters. Bad idea. The first wave I decided to body board in on was all it took to slap the glasses off my face and out of my life.

To say I was bummed would be an understatement. To make a long story short, I purchased another pair of shades from my lifeguard friend at fifty percent off which meant I was simply paying full retail price. That was almost six years ago to the day and I thought I had learned my lesson.

Today I went on a party barge. A funny thing happens when you put a pair of sunglasses on your face first thing in the morning and drink a lot of alcohol: You forget they're there. A pair of sunglasses that have been with me since my sophomore year of high school sank to the bottom of Lake Travis on the first jump into the water of the day. I guess learning from my mistakes isn't something I'm very good at.