July 15: Will Work for Weed

Is it just me, or is there a homeless guy on every street corner in Austin, Texas? Ragged, faded t-shirts and ripped jeans. Unshaven faces. Torn and battered baseball caps and worn out tennis shoes, boots and sandals. And why are they all Christians?! Each sign comes equipped with a good ol' fashioned blessing. They limp up and down the center divide of busy streets with puppy dog eyes and sometimes with puppies too! Some have buckets to collect the change and others stuff the currency into denim pockets.

I've seen more cardboard signs in the last ten months than I can remember, but the ones that stood out are the following: Just Plain Hungry (Simple and to the point), 99 Cents Short of a Happy Meal (Does McDonald's allow adults to purchase Happy Meals?), Will Work for Food (Not very original, buddy), Unemployed (Duh!), and Disabled (You look fine to me). I read this last one today and it may just be the most unique I've seen.

First of all, the sign belonged to one of only two female bums, excuse me, homeless people I've seen since moving to Texas. She had a limp (maybe this was her disability) to her left side as she walked up and down the line of waiting cars. She wore a loose-fitting pink tank top that accentuated her bra-less, sunburned bosom. Aside from the content, her sign was like any other; fourth-grade penmanship in black permanent marker on brown cardboard. Center-aligned, it read: Disabled (Next Line) Anything Helps (Next Line) May God Bless You. To the right of the second line and encircled was the number 420.

Look, I don't know why you're out there in the hot sun begging for money. I can't imagine being in a situation where I didn't have a roof over my head at night. I don't know if you're in the process of trying to find employment or if you're just lazy. I don't know what your disability is, but I have a hard time taking you seriously when your one suggestion to strangers is that they give you weed.

The first thought that went through my head when I read this was, "Ha ha ha." Then I wondered if she wanted marijuana for medicinal purposes. I then thought about her sign from an advertising perspective. I wondered what the average driver thought when he read the sign and whether or not he was more or less likely to help based on her choice of display. Being a young, ignorant, and selfish person I personally would be less likely to help someone asking for weed; so I drove by.

Look, I don't have a thing against the homeless. Most of them are mentally unstable and I think it's terribly lamentable that a society can simply toss them aside instead of having a solution to the problem. It's easy for me to sit here in my air-conditioned apartment and poke fun of a situation that I don't know anything about under the surface of what I see every day in my air-conditioned vehicle.

But because the market is so over-saturated with cardboard signs, deciding who to give my contributions to can be harrowing. Do I give my two cents to the guy with the puppy that can beg or do I toss a nickel at the guy with the local Longhorns hat? Should I roll my window down for the guy who needs a gun or for the lady who wants drugs? There are just so many choices!