March 30: The Contest

Have you ever wanted to experience something for the first time again? I've heard people express an interest in meeting their loved ones again and some people would want to lose their virginity all over again. For me, I would want to watch "The Contest" and experience the episode as if it were my first time.

I just finished watching the episode for what seems to be the one hundredth time. I know exactly when Elaine will deliver her John F. Kennedy Juuuniaah line and how Kramer begs Jerry not to tell the naked woman across the street to draw her shades. The scene with George watching his mother's neighbors in the hospital is still hilarious, but I want to experience these jokes for the first time again.

When I was younger, I read Seinfeld and Philosophy where the season four episode was mentioned a number of times. I didn't actually get to watch it until after I had seen the "Shaq" episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. In the episode, Larry David mistakenly trips Shaquille O'neal while attending a Lakers' game. He later finds out that Seinfeld is Shaq's favorite show and as an apology for hurting the basketball player, David personally gives Shaq every episode of the series. (This was before the show was on DVD so being able to get the show in its entirety wasn't as easily accessible.) Towards the end of the Curb episode, Shaq and David watch "The Contest" which is Shaq's favorite. Watching George explain that his mother had caught him with a Glamour magazine was first seen through a completely different television series.

I never really got into Seinfeld until college when it was in syndication, so until I bought all of the DVDs, there were quite a few episodes that I hadn't seen. "The Contest," as famous as it was, was one of those episodes. When I finally caught it in reruns, I was kind of disappointed. I had heard so much about it being a landmark episode. The idea of a sitcom doing the subject of masturbation without ever mentioning the word was such a radical premise, but it was over-hyped for me. That, and I watched it with my dad who isn't a big fan of the show.

Not only did "The Contest" have a risque theme, but it was the first episode that Estelle Harris was introduced as George's mother. It was also the first time the audience was able to see the fantastic dinosaur sheets on George's bed. As I watched the episode tonight, I longed to hear the jokes and to see the routines again, but for the first time. When Kramer leaves the window to go back to his apartment, I wanted to know if I would have picked up on what his intentions were. I could tell some of the audience members knew, but would I?

I've seen every episode so many times now that I can almost recite each line in every scene with the actors. I know when each joke is coming and I know how long I have to wait before the punchline is delivered. Seinfeld is such a great show, but I would love to experience each episode for the first time all over again.



Listening to Elliot Smith.