February 14: Hypocrisy

What is this guy in front of me doing? First he signals, then he turns it off. Then he weaves to the left as if about to change lanes, and then he straightens out. Oh, great! Now he's braking! What is he braking for? There isn't anyone in front of him. We're not at a stop light. What on Earth is he braking for? If only I had a chance to pass him. What if he's drunk though? I've heard that you're never supposed to pass a drunk driver. Or am I not supposed to let a drunk driver pass me? Oh, man I can't remember. Okay, now's my chance. Here we go. Of course! The idiot's on his cell phone. "Get off the phone and drive, pal!"

Doesn't this guy know it's against the law to drive and talk on the cellphone at the same time? I mean, why doesn't he just go over the speed limit too if the rules don't apply to him? He might as well run some red lights or make an illegal U-Turn. If you're going to break the law, you might as well do something fun.

Here I am minding my own business and I have to slow down because he decides that he's not going to obey the...hold on...I just got a text message. Oh, no way! My buddy just got engaged! I have to send him a congratulatory text. C...o...n...g...r...a...y...oops...backspace...t...s...!...!...1. Now where was I? Oh, yeah. I'm minding my own business trying to get to the drive-thru before it closes and I have to change my driving patterns because of people like this. I mean, not only is it unsafe for you and other drivers, but it's rude and inconsiderate to the people around you. Are you really that important that you have to be on the phone wherever you are?

Give me a second. I just pulled up to the drive-thru. "Hi, yeah um can I get a number 2, but no cheese? Coke's fine. No that's it. Okay, thanks." I love the number 2. I get it every time I come here. I've had other things, sure, but you just can't beat the number 2. Hold on. "Hi. There you go. I might have 82 cents in here somewhere for you. Well here's 85. Ketchup? Um, yeah I'll take a few packets. Great, thanks, you too."

You know, the number 2 is so good that I can't even wait until I get home to eat it! Besides, it doesn't taste right if it's not hot. Oh man, this Coke is good! Look at this thing! Does this look like the picture to you? What is this?! Man, I told her no cheese! Welp, too late now! It's still pretty good. Now, where was I?

Oh yeah. People driving and talking on the phone. I hate that so much. You know what's even worse? By the way, this burger is fantastic! What's even worse is when people are changing their music and driving too! Playing with the iPod and not paying any attention to the road. I'm really surprised you don't hear about more accidents being caused by these sorts of things. I think the media should be forced to report every time an accident was caused by a cell phone or an iPod/radio/CD player/GPS.

Why can't other drivers be more like me? Am I the only one that obeys the rules? Am I the only...hold on...oh, man! My buddy already has a date set for his bachelor's party! This is going to be sick!