February 21: Dear God

God is great. God is good. And we thank him for our food. Amen.

Dear God, My mother is sick and it's not her time. Please give her strength and help her battle this sickness. Amen.

Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you for gathering us together today. You have blessed us with such a wonderful group of friends and family members. Thank you for our health and our happiness. Heavenly Father, we thank you for everything that you have provided us with and ask for you to continue to bless us. Amen.

Dear Lord (Amen), Thank you, Lord for the beautiful children in this room (Amen). Jesus, you are Lord (Amen!). Thank you, Lord for our friends, O Lord! (Amen!) Thank you, O God for the beautiful day you hath brought (Amen). Lord! You are a merciful God! (Amen!) You are an understanding God! (Amen!) You are a most GRACIOUS God, O Lord! (AMEN!) Now let's put our hands together, Lord (Amen!) and praise the many blessings (Amen!) that you have provided, Lord! (AMEN!)

Um. Hi, God. It's me, Brandon in Texas. Yeah, um. So I know I haven't written or called lately, but I've got a favor to ask. You see, there's a new Playstation game coming out next month and I really want it, but money has been tight lately. I was wondering if you could possibly make my boss at work put me in some better sections so I can afford this game. God, trust me, this game is sick! It's a first-person shooter where the goal is to kill as many civilians as possible. Anyway, if you do this one little thing, I promise I will never use your name in vain again. Thanks. Love, Brandon. I mean, Amen.

Dear God! What is that?!

Oh God, no! Please, God don't let this be. Oh my God this is awful. Please don't let her die, God!

Oh my God!

OMG.