February 25: Speedy

I woke up today and went through my daily routine of checking my empty email inbox and visiting the six websites I frequent every day. I have a Yahoo mail account as well as my standard Gmail, so when going to the site (no new email of course) I glanced at the top four "noteworthy" stories of the day. "Speed skater Misses Race," "New Take on 'Speedy' Cartoon," "Lago Addresses Controversy," and "French Bacon Burger Brouhaha."

I've never been one to get into the Olympics. To me, it's nothing more than a new show to watch on TV for a bunch of couch potatoes that don't normally know anything about sports. People who don't watch or talk about sports all year long are suddenly obsessed with the events. I don't get it, so I didn't care about why the speed skater missed his race or what Lago's controversy was.

I figured "French Bacon Burger Brouhaha" was just another campaign to get the public off of greasy, fatty foods and to start eating more greens until I read the attention grabber. "A mayor claims religious prejudice after some French fast-food outlets replace their bacon burger." I was all about reading about my healthy options until I saw it was more about religious prejudices. That was it. I didn't care. Next story.

The final story was accompanied by a picture of the beloved childhood cartoon, Speedy Gonzales. The caption below the picture read, "A new Speedy Gonzales film will avoid the 1950s cartoon's stereotypes, producers say." Maybe it was the fact that the article was about a cartoon and not a more adult-themed bacon burger that sparked my interest, but I clicked the "racist cartoon" link anyway.

I like Yahoo stories because they're short and to the point. Plus, they're written at a third-grade level which I can understand. The article explained that Speedy had a friend that was named Slowpoke Rodrigues and that the producers were working on creating a story that eliminated these prejudices. First of all, how is that a stereotype? One mouse is fast (Speedy) and one is not fast (Slowpoke). Secondly, does that mean Slowpoke is gettin' a job washing dishes at the local restaurant? (Don't hate, that would be pretty darn accurate.)

I also found it amusing that Yahoo announced George Lopez would be the voice behind the new-and-improved Speedy Gonzalez. George Lopez! A comedian whose entire catalogue of material is based off of the Mexican stereotype! How ironic is that?

I generally don't care for new versions of old films/cartoons, but this is even more upsetting. I feel that if you don't have the creative mind to come up with something new and original and are forced to "re-imagine" a classic, then you can't change the basic elements of the original. I understand that our society views the world differently than it did in the 1950s, but if you're going to take away what made the original a classic, then you might as well put in the extra effort to come up with a completely new story.

I don't remember being offended as a child by Speedy Gonzalez, but then again, I'm a white, heterosexual male from the middle class. Everything was, and mostly still is, written for me. Call it role reversal if you want, but it offends me more that classics are now being re-imagined to try to please everyone. I'm completely flummoxed that they got away with remaking a cartoon about a fat and lazy cat, but I guess that's why I'm not in the bizz.