May 2: Hardy Har Har

Being in the restaurant industry can cause one to grow increasingly bitter towards people and life in general. A bossy patron. An obnoxious child. I've even been tempted to cry over spilled milk. Anyone, whether in the industry or not can relate to these things. One thing that most people outside of the industry may not be aware of, is that of the jokes that servers hear too often.

Occasionally a server will be so preoccupied with the job at hand that he or she won't be able to check up on a table right away. When the server finally gets a chance to stop by, he or she might ask something along the lines of, "How is everything?" Far too often, a hasty eater that has already licked his plate clean will respond with, "It was awful." Funny, right? You see it's funny because the guest actually thoroughly enjoyed the meal and is being facetious by complaining that it wasn't any good. To the guest and his friends, this is comic gold. To the server, it's another opportunity to exercise the pseudo laugh.

Other examples of such quips include, but are not limited to, lines about not asking for a dropped check and lines about never receiving an ordered drink after quickly downing the delivered one. Because I've worked in this God-forsaken industry for so long, it is extremely rare for me to hear an original joke delivered by a patron that causes me to genuinely laugh. Today, it happened.

I was in the process of delivering a tray of drinks to a table on the patio. I carried the tray out in front of me which blocked my view of the ground and outstretched legs. In an attempt to step over the latter, I accidentally kicked one of my guest's feet. It wasn't anything serious by any means at all, but I apologized nonetheless. The patron didn't miss a comic step, though and reacted as if I really laid into him. "My leg!" he screamed. "I'll never play piano again!"

Now, I don't know how the story will translate through the modern wonders of blog, but I found the reaction so far from the ordinary that I was sincerely entertained. The exaggerated response to an innocent mistake was perfect. The punchline was flawless and executed with quintessential timing and finish. What really pulled the whole thing together, however, was in the way that he refrained from laughing at his own hilarity.

I've heard them all. Reluctantly passing on an appetizer to save room for dessert. Forgetting a wallet and offering to wash dishes to pay for the meal. It takes a certain individual to make a horrible joke in a restaurant, but it takes a different kind of person to make a joke that a server actually finds amusing.

The next time you're out with your friends and you feel the need to make a smart alec comment in regards to your wobbly table, consider how original the line actually is before going for the laugh. Making a fresh joke is difficult, but trust me, it's possible. Not only will you receive a genuine laugh, but you will make a server's day and he or she might actually use it in that particular day's blog!