April 8: You Like Me! You REALLY Like Me!

We are all bred to seek approval. We let others dictate the way we live our lives. Girls strive to remain skinny because that's what society wants them to be. They're seeking the validation of peers, lovers, and even strangers. Kids play sports in school or compete in beauty pageants because their parents were too fat and ugly or weren't athletic enough to participate in the activities themselves.

I feel like it's such a cliche topic. How often do you hear a story about a magazine Photoshopping an image of their cover model to erase blemishes and to make her skinnier? How many films have been made about parents wanting their own childhood dreams fulfilled by their children? It's no secret that people want the approval. I'm not writing anything profound and original here. The reason I write about this particular topic, however, is because catching a person in the act of trying desperately to obtain the consent of others is a mixture of humor and sadness.

It happened to me the other night. Someone brought to my attention an act that he/she did which allowed me the benefit of being the subject of his/her decision. As if I hadn't already noticed the unusual circumstances that I found myself in, he/she had to shed light on the situation. Without so much as highlighting him/herself as the reason for my new position, he/she hinted at it. What did I think? I didn't know how to respond. Did this person want me to get down on my knees and praise him/her by bowing and kissing feet? Am I now forever in his/her debt?

I didn't know whether to laugh at, or feel bad for the person. It was humorous to catch a person begging for my gratitude, yet it was sad to wonder why this person felt they needed it. How was this individual raised? Was he/she never given credit for what was accomplished? What was he/she guarded from as a child? Where did these insecurities stem from?

Of course I thanked him/her, but in reality, it wasn't much of a favor at all. Changing the circumstances in which I was used to, didn't factor into the success (or lack thereof) that I had grown accustomed to. The only thing that he/she succeeded at was creating a stir amongst other individuals in the general vicinity.

Having the power to potentially determine the outcome of one's evening is a power that is taken for granted by certain people. It's these people that are the most insecure of us all. We all want to feel wanted. We long for acceptance into groups, but we don't all wear our desires on our sleeves for everyone to discover our emotional flaws. I believe these people put themselves in positions of "power" to compensate for some deep-down longing for approval; even if that approval comes from one's own self.

I wish I didn't have to be so vague with this post, but I'm not writing an anonymous blog here. It's observations like this that need to be written in a personal journal and not a blog on the World Wide Web. That's all.