April 2: I Need Answers!

I've been thinking a lot about reincarnation lately. It seems as though everyone I ask believes in it. I don't know if I do or not, but it makes the most sense to me. It's almost as if God is the safe bet to believe in. "Everyone else around me believes in God, so I guess it must be the truth." But nobody actually knows. The only way to find out what happens is to die, but then you can't share the newly discovered information.

Let's say there is a Heaven and when you die, your soul goes there to hang out with the billions and billions of other souls that have died throughout history. Do the borders of Heaven keep expanding to make room for all the new residents? Isn't it getting a little crowded by now?

I don't know if I believe in Heaven and Hell, but I definitely believe in souls. We each have one and there is way too much invisible cognitive activity going on for us to only be walking forms of matter. I can't even begin to comprehend the idea of dying and having everything just end. We dream, we think, we process, and then we die and everything goes black? If everything is black, aren't we still, in a sense, experiencing the nothingness?

I think that somewhere, the force that was my grandfather is still alive. Is he an earthworm in South America? What is that soul experiencing as I type these words? I think he lived a pretty honorable life, so does that mean that he has been born into a better position? Is he royalty now? And who makes this ultimate decision as to whether or not he lived a good life?

Other than making an occasional insensitive joke, I'm a pretty good person. I don't steal, cheat, or kill. Sure there is still a lot that I would like to experience before I go, but I think I've lived a decent life. I grew up in a loving family and I haven't had any real health issues. I would consider myself slightly above average in the looks department and I'm educated (as much as my writing says differently). I think that's a pretty good life to go through. Does that mean that I was a success in my past life? Because I've lived a good life up until now, will my next one be even better? I was happy with this one! How could it get better? Will I have the same life but a smaller nose?

Does that hold true if I'm killed tomorrow? Let's say the Great Decider deems my life a success. Will I only have a better next life if I'm killed in a situation that is out of my control? I'm only 27. Is that an acceptable amount of time to prove that I lived a good life? What if I'm killed in a car accident for not wearing my seat belt? If I had been wearing it, I wouldn't have died, but because I chose not to fasten the strap across my body, my life is over. Do I still go on to the same life that I would have? What if I kill myself? Will I be born into the same situation that I just left until I get it right or would I be moved down the chain? Would I still be a human being, but born to a family in a third-world country?

Reincarnation seems like the most logical explanation of what's to come, but I want to have some memory of this lifetime. It seems like a waste to experience everything I've gone through only to have to start from scratch. Hollywood has done the story more than enough times, but you have to admit that it would be pretty darn cool to be reincarnated within a close proximity to your past life and remember it!