April 24: Don't Judge Me

When I walk into someone's living room, one of the first things I notice is the DVD collection. I'd like to think that I'm not the only one that eventually ends up browsing the list of titles as soon as an opportunity presents itself, but that probably isn't true. You can tell a lot about a person by the choice of DVDs he or she might have and I'll even go as far as to say that I judge my friends based on their taste in movies. Is it fair for me to do this? Not at all. Especially when you look at my collection.

I went through a Jim Carrey phase where I collected every (mainstream) movie that he was in. I don't have Earth Girls Are Easy or Once Bitten, although I have seen both and both are equally terrible. My collection begins with Ace Ventura: Pet Detective and ends with Bruce Almighty. It was after the latter that I realized I wasn't such a fan anymore. Fun With Dick and Jane? The Number 23? Give me a break! I have every movie in between that he starred in though. I don't have Batman Forever or Simon Birch because he wasn't the lead in either of those movies.

Because I was such a fanatic about collecting each of his films, my collection can look a little lopsided. It's easy to only see certain blocks of titles by quickly looking at my shelf of DVDs which makes my taste in film look extremely limited. Take, for example, my nine seasons of Seinfeld, six seasons (and one coming in June) of Curb Your Enthusiasm, ten Pixar films, and five seasons of The Office. All are great, but they take up a lot of space on my shelf and draw a lot of attention. The box of the first three Indiana Jones pictures is huge and distracting as are the three dictionary-sized extended editions of The Lord of the Rings.

If you look closer, however, you might find some real gems. (500) Days of Summer and Inglourious Basterds are new additions and both are fantastic if you weren't already aware. The Departed, Kingpin, and the Back to the Future films are all classics. These are the movies that I want to be judged on, but they some times get overshadowed by the bulkier and more expansive collections.

So when I go to a friend's house and start judging him on his collection of movies, I should probably think twice about what he would see if he were to browse my shelf. Most embarrassing movie I own? My Big Fat Greek Wedding. In case you're wondering, I won it in college and didn't go out and spend my hard-earned cash on the Nia Vardalos rom com. That doesn't mean that my friends wouldn't see it sitting with my Gladiator disc, though. I only hope that the giant, silver Toy Story box distracts them before they notice.