April 12: Missed Connections

The day started out like any other. I woke up, did my morning workout, made myself a protein shake and checked my email. No new Facebook friend requests and no real gain in my fantasy baseball league standings. Amazon sent me another "Top 10 Deals in Electronics This Week" email, but other than that, the morning wasn't anything out of the ordinary.

I took a shower, grabbed my book and folding beach chair, climbed into my truck and made my way towards Zilker Park to take in some sun. After a few hours of napping/reading I decided to go to Subway and grab myself a sandwich for lunch.

My heart stopped as I pulled the heavy glass door outwards and walked into the air-conditioned building. Behind the counter stood the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Her layered light brown hair was pulled into a ponytail that dipped just below the dark blue collar on her Subway polo. She had the cutest spicy mustard stain just below the insignia on her left breast and her brown eyes sparkled as she welcomed me to the popular sandwich chain. I was speechless.

She smiled as she delicately slid her small hands, one by one, into clear plastic gloves she retrieved from a box adjacent to the mayonnaise. I was certain she could hear the pounding of my heart behind my ribcage as I stared at her magnificence. I watched her perfect pink lips work together to inform me of the Five Dollar Foot Long promotion. How I longed to touch those lips against mine.

I nervously stuttered that I wanted a foot long turkey on wheat with mayo and mustard. My eyes were forced to look down at her perfectly-shaped rear end as she turned toward the bread warmer to retrieve my roll. Her tight, black pants were covered in stains of mayonnaise, mustard, and pieces of wilted lettuce and bread crumbs. Never had a dirty garment of clothing been so completely intoxicating and sexy. She pulled the bread from the warmer with such grace and sliced through it with her knife with pure professionalism. The way she squeezed the white bottle and then the yellow sending a stream of mayonnaise and mustard on either side of the bread took my breath way.

I watched lustfully as we worked our way down the line of vegetables and condiments. I felt myself blush with each question asked of me. I didn't just want my usual pickles, lettuce and onions. I wanted it all. I wanted to stand on this side of the sneeze guard all day. I wanted to order sandwich after sandwich and watch her work forever.

Before I knew it, I was paying for my sandwich and my "three cookies for a dollar" with a twenty dollar bill. Her angelic beauty was enough to convince me to dump all of my change into the cleaned out pickle jug which was labeled "tips" in glittering puff paint. Unfortunately, the oven let her know it was time to remove the new batch of rolls at the exact moment I gave my generous tip and the act was lost and unnoticed.

I didn't have the courage to ask for her name so I turned and walked away more in love than I've ever been. I couldn't stop thinking of her brown eyes, pink lips, crumb-covered rump, and that spicy mustard stain as I drove home. If only there was a way I could let her know how I felt without facing the risk of rejection.

That's when I remembered it. Missed Connections on Craig's List. It was perfect! I would log on to the classifieds website and pour out my true feelings for the Subway girl. I would tell her how beautiful she looked as she wrapped my turkey sandwich and that I was in her store on the corner of Street A and Street B. I was going to write the time I was there and what kind of sandwich she made for me. She would get off work, check the Missed Connections page on Craig's List like I'm sure she does every night and see my post. She would then email me igniting the beginning of a wonderful relationship.