September 30: It's Not Meant to Be

If I didn't know better, I would think someone was trying to protect my sanity. I'm doing everything I can to push myself over the edge and somewhere, someone is looking out for me.

Within the past month, my Internet connection has disappeared on more than one occasion without having any problems at all over the course of the previous year. When my Internet is working, the power will go out. Clear skies, no thunder or lighting and snap! Everything in my apartment shuts off. On Tuesday, I traveled 1400 miles to visit my family. Tonight, my mother told me she couldn't remember the last time the power went out. She told me this as we sat in the dark after a rare San Diego thunderstorm turned off the TV we were watching.

Within the past month, I've watched a six and half game lead in the National League West disintegrate into a three game deficit. I've sat boiling with anger as I watched the Padres throw away an all-but-guaranteed trip to the playoffs. I've taken my anger out on co-workers and family members. I'm arrived for shifts at work in the service industry in a sour mood because of my frustrations toward the team's lack of performance.

Being the son of a triple bypass survivor with over ten artery stints, the healthy and smart thing for me to do would be to stop watching baseball. I should get outside and get some fresh air. Take a jog or even a cold shower. Instead, I turn back to the computer and my Internet to land another blow to my sanity. I watch the Fox Saturday game each week. I listen as the San Diego announcers do everything in their power to remain sounding optimistic about the idea of making the playoffs.

For a while, however, every time I sat down at the computer to watch the game, the Internet would cease to work. I could call the Internet company, but would simply get a busy signal or be be placed on hold for an hour only to be told they had people working on the issue. The Internet would be down for hours while the game was played in a different part of the country. Eventually I would have to go to work without getting to see any of the game. I would have to go throughout a shift without knowing the results. When the Internet was working, the power would go out without warning. I could be sitting inside on a beautiful day watching the team piss away the game and then find myself sitting in front of a dark screen.

The first time it happened, I thought it was nothing more than coincidence. The second time it happened, I was furious that I was forced to miss another game. The third time, I was still upset, but I began wondering if I wasn't meant to watch them. I had to just laugh when it happened tonight.

If the Padres lose one more game, it's over. If they win the remaining three games as the visiting team, they force a tie. Is it possible? Yes. Is it realistic? Not really. My blood pressure has risen dramatically throughout the course of the season. My mood has been up and down all year. I'm ready for next year. Will this other-worldly phenomenon follow me and force me to miss games again?