September 27: What Would Freud Do?

I was in fourteen different plays in high school. The last of which was a musical in the spring of my senior year. 2001. Nine years ago. I haven't had to memorize any lines or go to any rehearsals for nine years. Last night, I had the dream that all actors have. I'm about to go on stage in front of a full house and I don't have a clue what any of my lines are. It doesn't matter what play it is or what part I have. I have lines that I'm suppose to deliver and I don't know any of them. I'm holding a script, but it has a different role's lines highlighted. My cue to enter stage-right is performed and I step into the bright lights and I'm wearing glasses.

I had just graduated college and my parents asked what I wanted for my graduation gift. I wanted one thing and one thing only: to get LASIK surgery. I had been wearing glasses for as long as I could remember. The one thing I remember about my first day of kindergarten? Forgetting my glasses. Upon graduation, I went to the optometrist and received my referral to the ophthalmologist. I then took out my Rigid Gas Permeable contacts for the last time to let my eyes take their natural shape as I made monthly visits to the doctor. In December of 2005, I stared into a circular, pulsating laser and never put on another pair of eyeglasses again. A few nights ago I had a dream I was visiting with some friends and I was wearing glasses while my teeth kept falling out effortlessly.

If you're just a tad different than the norm in high school, you're going to get made fun of. If you have acne or you smell funny, you're going to get made fun of. After spending the majority of my youth with metal braces glued to my teeth and wires connecting them, I had the apparatuses removed for the final time during the first semester of my freshman year of high school. That was 1997. For thirteen years people have commented and praised my straight teeth. For thirteen years, I've been flossing and brushing. Chewing sugar-free gum and drinking a lot of milk. For thirteen years, I've been dreaming of losing or chipping my teeth.

I'm still waiting tables so having dreams of not being able to keep up with being sat is expected, but why am I still dreaming of events that were a major part of my life so long ago? I haven't acted on a stage since high school. It's been even longer since getting my braces removed. What does this mean? WWFD? What would Freud do?