August 30: In the Cards

"Where do you see yourself in five years?" How often have you heard this question? I'm guessing you've heard it quite a few times. For some strange reason, every employer that has ever interviewed me wants the answer and it's a great conversation started at dinner parties. I've overheard other people discussing their predictions in coffee shops and diners for as long as I can remember and in the summer of 2005, a group of my friends and I decided to get a professional answer.

We had all recently graduated from college and none of us, save for Max, really knew what we wanted to do or in what direction our lives would be headed. On a busy street in Orange, California there was a small and often overlooked strip mall with a liquor store, Dollar Tree, Check 'n Go, and a 24-hour taqueria for all of your unknown-meat desires. If it weren't for the three foot sign made of plywood, no one would ever know about the palm reading fortune teller wedged in between the liquor store and the Check 'n Go.

It was here on a lackluster afternoon in July that my friends wanted to get this "professional" prediction. "Where do you see yourself in five years?" Would we still be friends? Will any of us have made it big by then? Married? Children? Alive? The possibilities were endless. I had breezed through school with relative ease. My grades weren't as good as they could have been, but I knew that I hadn't really tried my hardest either so I was confident living on the streets wasn't in the cards for me. I was in good health and I had maintained an active lifestyle by bicycling and occasionally working out so I couldn't imagine an unexpected health scare in my near future either. I was on the right path to a bright future, right?

Upon pushing the cheap wooden door into the dark shop the sound of the street disappeared behind us and we were met with the high-pitched sound of a small bell on the inside handle of the door. The cliche of thick incense-filled air is what I expected and what I received. The black painted walls and overall lack of decor, however, surprised me. The only source of light came from a lone recessed light fixture set in the ceiling directly above a short counter to the left of the entrance. A few pamphlets of services offered by "Madam Miriam" were the only contents on the counter and they were carefully arranged on the dusty surface.

On the other side of the counter there was a square card table accompanied by four copper-colored metal folding chairs. On top of the table, a black sheet was being used as a table cloth. A sheet! For beds. Two stacks of tarot cards lied face up in the center of the table on either side of a half burned out stick of incense in an ash-filled dish. Other than the small table and counter, the room was empty.

When the door closed behind us, it rang the cheap little bell once more. A minute later, the black rear wall opened flooding the small room with sunshine from the back alley and, who I assumed was, Madam Miriam walked in.

I expected the powerful vanilla-scented air. I didn't really have any expectations of the room itself, but I was completely taken aback by Miriam. I expected long frazzled, gray hair and wire-rimmed frames with thick lenses. Yellow, crooked teeth and a long, hooked nose were shoe-ins. I thought a shawl would be involved somewhere in the getup, but I did not expect a young woman with solder-length dark hair. This "Miriam" lady was hot! She was casually dressed in a loose-fitting black blouse and denims that showed off her shapely legs.

After an initial meet and greet session, she took the three of us and had us sit around the table in the provided chairs. She said she always goes in alphabetical order by first name which had me batting first. From beneath the counter, she retrieved a fat red candle and after lighting it with her cigarette lighter, placed it next to the incense dish and joined us at the table. The small flame danced and flickered as she shuffled the tarot cards and had me place both of my hands (palms up) on the table.

One by one she read our palms and told our futures. None of our destinies sent her screaming in terror. None of us had any ties with the dark Lord or ancestors that tried breaking into our current dimension. On the whole, it was a waste of twenty dollars which was expected. But what was her expert prediction for me? "Where do you see yourself in five years?" Let's just say that if I thought she knew what she was talking about, I would have gone into the military while I was still young enough.