August 19: Brace Yourself

What is it about the beige-colored apparatus that doctors use for splints that make patients look trashy? A part of me has always slightly frowned on those that wear them. You can take a clean-cut guy in designer clothes or an attractive girl in high heels and put their arm in a blue sling, and I will automatically look at them as being on a lower level as me. Am I the only one that does this?

It's not as though I treat these people any differently or talk down to them. I don't spit at their feet or refuse to hold doors open for them, but I'm ever so slightly disgusted by them. I never stop and wonder what put them in the splint, sling, or brace either but I do want to stop and stare. What is it that makes me want to do such a thing? Is it the beige? Or is it that combination of dark blue with white straps, loops, ties, and Velcro?

Whatever it is that causes people to stop and stare now finds itself wrapped around my own arm. The doctor told me to keep it elevated which is like waving a flag and yelling, "Look at me!" I feel like I'm constantly making an oath with my left arm cocked at the elbow and my hand up near my face.

I think what makes me hate these things so much is the accessibility the public has to them. Anyone can go to Wal-Mart and pick up a splint to fix their self-diagnose. Whose to say I'm not faking this injury for attention? "Look at poor me. I'm a daredevil and a real man and my injury is proof of that!"

I've never wanted to give people in splints or braces the satisfaction of having my attention and now that attitude has come back full-circle to slap me in the face. I don't want any special treatment, but I feel like I'm a walking hypocrite with my wrist wrapped and held at a permanent sixty degree angle. But trust me. I am a real man.