August 29: The National Anthem

I'm all about being unique and expressing one's individualism, but the butchering of the National Anthem has got to stop. Whether you're performing in front of a hundred million Super Bowl viewers or simply taking part in the opening weekend ceremonies of a local Little League, stretching out "And the rockets red glare" is not cool.

I have a hard time believing that when Francis Scott Key and John Stuart Skinner watched in horror from the HMS Minden while the British attacked Baltimore, this is how Key hoped his little poem would be delivered. Roseanne Barr? Somehow I can't imagine Key condoning the addition of the extra "soul" that these young girls feel is necessary to a song that is such a traditional part of our country's history either. The word is free. Not freeEEEeee.

The piece was penned during a very serious and traumatic time. It's an emotional song and coupled with being on stage in front of a large number of strangers can be a terrifying thought for a lot of people. It would only be natural to be nervous and to be timid in such a situation would be enough of a "personal touch." Not only is it nerve-racking to perform, but simply being asked to is one heck of an honor.

Attempting to prolong your fifteen minutes of fame is only human nature. If by doing so, however, you ruin a national tradition, let me ask on behalf of a ballpark of fifty thousand standing fans for you not to. I want to salute my country's flag. I want to honor the men and women who have fought for my freedom. I do not want to place my right hand over my heart as you yell, scream, and massacre the Star-Spangled Banner by adding rhythm and funk to your delivery. Thank you.