August 15: Magic Unlocked

Crap. I didn't mean for this to happen. It was just a game. It was supposed to be fun and harmless. I was enjoying a movie by myself eating Milk's favorite cookie when it happened. I reached pass the blue, plastic wrapper and into the clear, plastic tray. Rows of three. With my eyes glued to the TV, my fingers grasped the first cookie they touched. I was still finishing the previous cookie as I twisted one half of the cookie in one direction and the other half in the other direction. As the two halves separated every last bit of frosting remained on the cookie in my left hand. There wasn't any trace of white on the cookie in my right hand. I had, it turned out, unlocked the magic.

The image on my TV screen started to skip and the lights flickered so violently the bulbs actually exploded from the sockets. Sparks rained down on me as vertical static lines made their way up and down the screen. I sat in the glow of the film and watched as the lines started racing faster and faster. The audio was distorted and smoke started curling out of the DVD player. Before I knew it, the disc shot out of the player's slot like a frisbee and aimed for my throat. I was able to grab a pillow on the sofa just in time to block the attack, but suffice it to say, I was a little creeped out.

For a while all was calm. With the static imagine on the screen, all was silent. I sat gripping the ripped and torn pillow that the disc had dismantled and I waited for something to happen. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the ceiling fan, which was previously turned off, begin to slowly spin. It rotated slowly and its speed began to increase. It continued to spin faster and faster and I felt a searing pain on my lap. I looked down and saw the frosting-covered cookie. The fan was spinning so rapidly that it started swaying on the ceiling. I reached for the cookie and threw it down immediately after grabbing it. It felt like oven coils!

The cookie had landed by the dining room table and that's when I noticed the chairs leaning first to the right and then to the left. All four of them. As if dancing with each other. They rocked back and forth as the ceiling fan rocked harder and harder. I stood up and ran to the nearest chair to hold it down but it was too strong. Back and forth they danced slowly. As I tried to hold the chair down, my hands were being pushed upward. The chairs were rising to the ceiling!

I pulled and tugged to no avail. Eventually the chairs reached a height I was unable to match. I had to let them go and simply wait for what was to come. The fan, meanwhile, appeared to have met its maximum speed. Pieces of dry wall fell from the ceiling as the fan made a high-pitched whistle and spun its arms to a mere blur. Without warning, the first chair shot itself into the spinning blades. It exploded into tiny, sharp shards that flew in every direction. The pieces were thrown with such force that they stuck into the wall, carpet, and anything else in their path like darts. Just like the first chair, the others followed right after each other sending missiles of wood chips around the room.

Across the room from me I saw the cookie without frosting. I quickly came to the decision that the two halves had to be reunited. I don't know how I came to that conclusion. I don't know what gave me the idea. I just knew. As the circular dining table began to rotate and rise, I dove for the cookie. It was ice cold. The exact opposite of the frosting-covered side. At least this one was easier to handle.

The table was approaching its launching point as I laid on the ground holding the cold cookie in front of me toward the hot cookie. Luckily it was frosting side up and I wouldn't have to worry about my carpet being sticky. I closed my eyes tightly as I reached out. The table screamed toward the ceiling fan. I heard the explosion as I placed the cold cookie on its brother.

When I opened my eyes, I was sitting on the sofa. The movie was playing on the TV. The lights were dimmed and the pillow was unharmed. I looked up and looked at the still arms of the fan. The dining room furniture sat quietly. I breathed a sigh of relief as I reached for the next cookie.