November 6: Lazy Lights

It's a bit early in the year for this topic, but because it's 11:39 on the night of turning the clocks back, I'm running out of time to come up with a better idea. I don't know if Blogger will give me the extra hour, so I'm not risking it.

Christmas lights. What's the deal with Christmas lights? I mean, really!

When I was growing up, my dad marked the day after Thanksgiving as the day to string the lights from the eaves. While all of the lunatics were up at five in morning fighting over Furbies and Tamagotchis, my family was sleeping in. Mom and Dad would be up at nine and while Mom was in the attic handing down the Christmas decorations, my sister and I would be slowly rising from our turkey slumbers. We would then spend the better part of the morning hanging the lights around the house where they would stay until the first weekend after Christmas.

It's a tradition. It was a tradition to hang the lights and it was always a tradition to drive around the different neighborhoods and admire the hard work and high energy bills of all of the Christmas lovers. Every Christmas while driving home from dinner with our friends and family, it was always a nice way to end the holiday season too. The one star on top of the distant hill. The tall pole with strings of lights reaching from the ground to the top at the local park. Everything tied together so nicely.

Except now it's July. It's July and there's that one house at the end of the street that feels it's absolutely necessary to keep those white icicle lights up. It's a hundred and fifty degrees outside except on the eaves of this jackass' home. The Christmas spirit is still alive here!

Back in the day, they didn't have hanging icicle lights. It was a string of lights that hung up close to the eaves. It was just one light bulb every four to six inches. The advantage of these lights was that a lazy person could get away with not taking them down each year. If he unplugged them, a person could easily drive by without ever realizing that such a negligent person lived there. Icicle lights, however, are plain as day. Look over here! The occupant of this house doesn't give a damn!

Okay. If your Clark Griswold, taking down your lights each year is going to be difficult. Putting them up each year is going to be difficult. If you want the best looking house each Christmas, you have to work for it. You have to put in the time and effort to install and remove them each year. It comes with the honor of being that house. If you don't want to climb on the roof each year to take the lights down, don't put them up!

As Christmas gets closer and closer, more and more houses will display their lights. People actually offer their services to hang lights for some extra cash. These people are also around after the holidays to remove the lights so you don't see strands of lights in July as often, but keep a look out. People that are too lazy to take their lights down could also be too cheap to hire someone to do it for them. Whatever the case, it makes me sick.

Don't forget to turn your clocks back!