November 13: Magical Toes

For Christmas last year, my parents gave me a removable link for my bike chain. I had asked for this so I could periodically remove the chain and clean it from the debris and gunk that had built up. For almost twelve months now, I've avoided installing it and like so many other things, I just made up excuse after excuse as to why I couldn't go outside and put it together. The link is two tiny pieces of metal that basically clip together to complete the chain, but today I discovered how difficult it actually was to install.

If I pulled the chain in one direction, the cogs on the wheel would lock which would allow me some slack on the other end but if I pulled too tightly on the loose end of the chain, it would pull the other end further over the sharp teeth of the cogs. I only had so much time before I had to take the chain off and try again. Lucky for me, I have magic toes.

Around about the third time of starting over, I discovered that if I used my two biggest toes on my right foot, I could hold the petal from spinning around when I pulled the loose end of the chain. It was great. It was almost as though I had someone right there helping me. I literally had an extra hand for the job.

I first realized my talent in college when I bought my first pair of Rainbow sandals. I would wear my flip flops everywhere; classes, meetings, all three meals, skateboarding, sporting events, and camping. I would unconsciously flick them off under the desk in school and use my toes to twirl and maneuver them around my foot. When walking back from lunch, my friends and I often had sandal kicking contests where we attempted to hit various objects and street signs with our flying leather.

Before I knew it, I was using my toes to pick up pens that fell off the desks and tables in my classes. A dropped fork in the cafeteria was retrieved with all of my pedal phalanges working collectively together placing its handle between my two largest toes and then gripping it there while my leg brought it to me. Often times, I would drop a small object while standing and spend more time trying to pick it up with my foot than it would have taken me to simply reach down and grab it.

At one point during my trip home, I was helping my dad build a box to protect his sprinkler valves and it was my responsibility to screw the pieces of wood together. After working on the project for few hours it was time to pick up our tools and call it a day, but instead of gathering the objects like a normal human being, I used my foot. As I tried to lift the drill bit using just my toes, my dad just stood and watched. When I successfully had the item in my hand, I looked to my dad for approval and he simply shook his head and commented on my "magic toes."

I know what you're thinking. "Anyone can pick things up with their toes." I suppose that's right, but the question is, "Do they?" Do they go out of their way to waste time by picking up that pencil or that quarter. The answer is usually no. I do, though. That's all that matters. All I need is a opposable thumb down there and I would be able to accomplish even more. Until then, however, I will stick with one item at a time.