October 15: A Simple Request

I understand people have their values and beliefs. I understand that not everyone was raised the way I was. We all come from different backgrounds and we have different upbringings. A black twenty-seven-year-old raised in the barrios of Detroit probably isn't sitting at his parents house on a Friday afternoon blogging about mundane observations like the twenty-seven-year-old you're currently reading. He probably would never consider quitting a job to take a month and a half off to do nothing.

No matter what a person's background is, however, I can't understand why the presence of body odor can still be so prevalent in a developed country. Allow me to rephrase. A man working in the fields from sun up until sun down has my permission to stink when he gets home at night. A professional dancer rehearsing under hot lights the day before an important recital has my blessing. These two sweaty beings have the luxury of being able to go home and freshen up before they go out in public.

A high school student shouldn't make the kids around him gag on his stench. There is no excuse for an accountant to cause fellow employees to lose the pigmentation in their faces as a result of her unbearable fetor wafting from her underarms. It shouldn't matter how hot and muggy it is outside or whether the office doesn't have circulating air. If you have access to a shower and a stick of deodorant, people should not be fainting around you.

I understand we're all different biologically. I'm aware that some people just sweat more than others. I know that our diets can have an affect on our body odor; I've always been afraid to eat large sums of garlic for this very reason. I still don't think that's an excuse. If you can't escape your own perspiration, carry a wash cloth with you, occasionally dampen it, wipe yourself down in the bathroom and for the love of Pete, keep that thing in a air-tight Ziplock bag!

But, Brandon. What about the people that don't believe in using hygienic products? What about the people that view these products as an opposition to their religions? My answer: What about the rest of us? Isn't there something in every religious handbook about treating others with respect and dignity? Isn't the Golden Rule a part of every religion? "Do unto others as you would have done unto you." You want me to drop my drawers and break wind in your face? Because that's what you're doing unto me.

Look, we were all raised differently so we believe different things. The Chilean miners didn't have access to a shower for two months; they're going to stink. If I ever get accepted to participate on Survivor, I understand that I will stink. As a member of a developed country, however, there should be no reason to possesses such vileness. Please do your neighbors and me a favor; wash!