December 19: Cutco Bull

Its Double-D edge with its patented three edges of cutting perfection creates a smooth and flawless incision where the standard serrated blade rips and tears at food. The handle was specifically designed with a dishwasher-safe, thermo-resin material that won't crack, chip, or fade for any size or shape of hand. The high carbon, stain-resistant tang extends the full length of that handle which creates a durability, strength, and balance unmatched in any other household knife. It's got everything and it sells itself. What's not to like?

As my freshman year of college was coming to a quick end, I began panicking about what I was going to do for a summer job. I didn't want to go back to the neighborhood grocery store and restock shelves again and I didn't have any desire to try and find a job in retail, but my level of experience was pretty limited. Who would take me on for a few months when they had to spend the first few weeks training me? I didn't have any connections with family friends so I didn't even have that option.

One day while checking my mail in the community mail room, I glanced at the bulletin board and noticed a promising advertisement that offered flexible hours, competitive pay, and didn't require any experience at all. Along the bottom of the 8 1/2" by 11" sheet of paper, a vertical phone number was printed on individual tabs that were meant to be torn off by interested students. In my naivety, I took a tab, went back to my room and called the number.

Three weeks later, I was doing everything in my power to avoid the people behind that phone number. You see, it was for a company called Vector and it was their job to hire salespeople to sell their client's product - Cutco Knives. It is a great product, but a decent salesperson, I am not.

The idea behind their business is for each hired salesperson to come up with a list of ten friends and family members once the training is complete. Once each salesperson is comfortable with the product and has their $145 starting kit, it is their responsibility to schedule an hour-long meeting with each member on his or her list. Upon completion of the presentation and (hopeful) sell, the employee is required to ask the listener for the phone number of up to ten recommendations for a future presentation. With each sell comes commission and each commission means more money. You can do as many or as few presentations as you want so the power lies completely in the hands of the presenter; or so they say.

Presenting to my parents and grandparents was easy. Doing a demonstration for the parents of a kid I played baseball with was a little more difficult. Calling his parents' friends and asking to speak with them for an hour was impossible. I did it once and never again. Even though I made a sell, sitting in a stranger's home and pushing a product on her made me feel extremely uncomfortable. I felt like I was lying to her. I didn't feel like myself and I felt like she could see right through my bullsh*t attempts at getting her to believe in the product.

Unfortunately, quitting wasn't nearly as simple as not calling prospective clients. The Vector office called me every single day asking how many demonstrations I gave and how many new contacts I collected. Because I didn't have the heart to tell them that I had stopped trying, I let this charade continue for another week or so before officially quitting.

Cutco makes a terrific knife. I still have my starting kit that I used for my demonstrations and I use the knives on a daily basis. I've met quite a few people that fell victim to the same ploy that I did and now claim Vector Sales as a past employer. For some, sales is a natural and very lucrative fit. For others like myself, it's absolute torture.