Thursday, September 24, 2009

Jogging is for the Birds

I've worked as a waiter in the restaurant industry since 2002. One of the more under-rated aspects of this field is the amount of exercise one gets on a daily basis. The employee is constantly on his or her feet carrying out various errands for the guest.

A typical shift would require me to run back and forth between the kitchen to get drinks, the table to deliver said drinks, the computer stand to ring in the order, and back to the kitchen to pick up the order. I would then have to run back to the table to deliver the order only to have to go back to the kitchen to fix the order for a stubborn patron and then find a manager to calm a hysterical guest. This would inevitably bring me back to the kitchen to get the free desert the guest was entitled to as an apology for the their absurd requests and back to the table to deliver the discounted check.

That's one table. Now multiply that table by about fifteen and you have yourself a decent workout. Rarely does anyone think about the job from this perspective until he or she is working in an office that doesn't require any more movement than the simple click of a mouse button.

This summer I found myself in that very position. I work on average 40 hours a week in an office where I get absolutely no exercise and I am constantly eating fast food because of its convenience. I have also had more to drink this summer than I have in my entire life. I live in the most boring, drab town in the country so the only thing to do is to sit in a living room with a few friends and drink the night away. Don't get me wrong, I have had a blast with these guys, but it isn't exactly doing my body any favors. I've always had a pretty high metabolism so I don't think I have gained that much weight, but I know that I am still grossly out of shape. Because of this discovery, I have taken it upon myself to do something about it.

As of today, I have officially jogged for five consecutive days (big deal, right?) and I plan on trying to maintain this morning ritual for as long as I can. The problem lies in the simple fact that I hate routine physical activity. I can't stand it! The only thing I can think about while exercising is how miserable I am, but every so often I find myself right back in the position of trying to get back in the routine of living a healthier life.

The first day is always the easiest. As I sit around all summer feeling more and more flabby, I become more inspired to get started. "Yeah, I'll get up at eight o'clock in the morning and do a light jog!" That inspirational ecstasy of adrenaline lasts all of fifteen steps as I start to pump morning air into my shriveled lungs. About five minutes later, my feet start complaining about the constant slamming on the pavement. My legs are next telling me that my knees hate me and then my back chimes in. My back starts collapsing on itself like a tired accordion. Sure, I feel great after I'm done, but being done can't come fast enough.

The worst part is I have to wake up in less that 24 hours to repeat the process! It's easy to hop out of bed first thing in the morning to get started on the first day, but each day after that is torture! My eight o'clock start turns into eight-thirty turns into nine-fifteen turns into ten-thirty-six (this morning).

And is it just me, or is showering after a sweat-inducing workout awful? The perspiration from my brow runs into my eyes and burns like hell. No matter what I do, I can't avoid that sting. I can wipe away sweat while running and again when I'm done, but as soon as that water goes down my forehead, my eyes start to burn. Plus, no matter how cold of a shower I take, I always find myself sweating even after the shower which makes me wonder why I bothered. But the shower represents the end of the workout and the start of the day.

I'm not really in that bad of shape compared to other people. I am a big believer in the power of the protein shake with added milled flax seed and I try to ride my bike to work as often as possible. I guess the reason I feel it necessary to add some extra cardiovascular activity to my daily routine is that I'm afraid I will become exceedingly fat and I just don't want that. So until I think of enough excuses not to get up and start jogging, I will just be miserable for half an hour a day.

No comments:

Post a Comment