Throughout the years, I've had some crazy ideas and done some weird things. I've never tried to make any money by the things I've done or come up with, but after watching these ideas come to fruition in Hollywood, I'm starting to think differently. Granted, most of the examples I'm about to list are sad and pathetic attempts at giving myself more credit than I deserve, but it's still fun to write about nonetheless.
I used to work at a restaurant that had the most ideal kitchen floors for my personality. I was able to run and slide on the heals of my non-slip shoes from one end to the other and it was fantastic. I can't remember how I discovered it, but I did it so often and with such regularity that I actually considered getting myself a pair of Heelys shoes so I could slide around on sidewalks and streets on days I didn't work. I would not only slide on my heals at work, but when the conditions were right, I would act as though I was ice skating and playing Center for the Los Angeles Kings.
If you'll remember the trailer for Jim Carrey's Fun With Dick and Jane he does the very same thing on a sidewalk in the rain. I don't know if he's running from something or someone or just goofing off, but he's definitely sliding and throwing his arms way out to the side with each stride. This happened after I had been skating through the kitchen for years.
That isn't the most extreme example, but to list the most isn't how you're supposed to do things when writing a blog; trust me. A few years ago, I came up with a "Forrest Gump approach to life." You see, in the film, Forrest says, "Okay" to pretty much everything that comes across his path. Football, Army, running, shrimp business, etc. Anytime an opportunity arises, he simply goes with it. Because of this attitude, he lived a pretty darn good life. That was going to be my approach; until that is, until I saw the trailer for another Jim Carrey movie. Yes Man.
My senior year of college, all of the Resident Advisors had some sort of meeting in one central location. While we were waiting for the meeting to get underway, I decided it would be funny to pull my hands up to my chest, stick my rear out and my head up. I would make two fists with the exception of my index and middle fingers. I was a Tyrannosaurus Rex. I took bouncing steps and roared with all of my might. I don't know if people were laughing at me or with me, but they were laughing. It was great. It was great, however, until an actor by the name of Jim Carrey did the same exact motion in A Series of Unfortunate Events.
I hope you're still reading because the last example is by far the best. When I was a senior in high school, I came up with a hilarious SNL-type sketch that would make fun of the current Snickers ad: "Not Going Anywhere for a While? Grab a Snickers!" You see, a black man would be driving a car and he would get pulled over by a white cop. The driver would then ask why he was pulled over and point out that he wasn't doing anything wrong, but the cop wouldn't have it. A voice over would then ask, "Not going anywhere for a while? Grab a Sni**ers."
At the time, I thought the joke would be too racy and insulting to ever make it to TV, but a few years later, MAD TV had a sketch exactly like it. White cop. Black driver. Cop accuses the driver of speeding, but the driver was at a stop light. Cop then suggests a broken tail light only to find out it's a new car. Cue the voice over.
Some of the examples above are dumb, but how can you argue with the Snickers? I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw that sketch! Maybe it's one of those things where you drive by a street light late at night and it goes off as soon as you drive beneath it; and it does this every night for weeks. You really believe something is special about you but it's probably something about the way your headlights are aimed and the speed your car hits a dip in the road to make the light bounce just right. It's still fun to imagine your ideas are crazy enough to work in Hollywood.
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