Maybe I'm of the wrong gender to be writing this blog, but I found the topic interesting nevertheless. Girls have always complained about the double standards of sex and dating, but it wasn't until recently that I had an opportunity to see it first hand.
I have an old friend (let's call him Joe) that had his eye on a girl (we'll call her Jane) for a while. One night while intoxicated, Joe approached an intoxicated Jane and asked her out. Jane didn't know much about Joe, but still agreed to accompany him to a local restaurant the next evening.
The date went well and Jane found that she enjoyed being in the company of Joe. She either liked him or was lonely enough to allow Joe to escort her to her apartment afterward. Upon arriving at Jane's, the new friends conversed over a beer and a shared blunt. Drunk and stoned, the couple soon found themselves in a fierce battle of tonsil hockey. Clothes were strewn and saliva was swapped. Then Joe passed out.
Joe woke the next morning in Jane's living room by himself. Jane had stayed the night in her bedroom. Being the gentleman that Joe is, he knocked on the door to let her know that he was leaving and that she should lock the door upon his departure. To Joe's surprise, though, Jane grabbed him and pulled him into her bed. The intense make-out session picked up right where it had left off. Clothes were, again, strewn. More saliva was swapped. Joe was sober. Jane was sober. Joe was aroused and acted on his impulses and Jane, completely naked now, stopped him.
The next day Brandon sat quietly as he held his phone to his ear and listened to Joe relay the events of the previous evening. I listened to Joe read a text he received from Jane later in the day apologizing for turning down his sexual advances. I listened as Joe went from being excited to nervous to angry. Joe started off excited that he hooked up with a girl like Jane. He became nervous because he didn't know what his next move should be. After being told she was too tired to "smoke another blunt," Joe became angry that his "next move" didn't yield the results he was hoping for.
It was during the latter stage in which Joe described Jane as a "skanky-ass ho" and a bitch. Reminding me over and over again that Jane was completely naked, Joe was furious that a girl dare to let him get as far as he did without letting him close the deal. "Who does she think she is?" he kept asking. I asked him how he would have felt if she had let him in. Would he still think she was such a bitch? "Of course not," he replied. "I would think she was a slut for putting out on the first date."
Now, I'm not sure I know what the difference between a skanky-ass ho and a slut is, but that's neither here nor there. The fact is that Jane couldn't win in Joe's eyes. Don't put out and you're a bitch. Put out and you're a slut. Obviously, both have negative connotations. I've heard girls complain about this for years. Why can guys go out and have as much sex as they want and be applauded for their efforts and successes and a girl is a slut if she attempts the same thing?
I don't know the answer. I don't exactly aspire to be Joe or Jane, but it does seem kind of unfair. If guys are supposed to go out and have as much sex as they can, but girls aren't, who are the guys supposed to be having sex with?
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