August 4: It's All About Winning

In December of 1997, the San Diego Padres acquired pitcher Kevin Brown from the Florida Marlins. Brown had just helped the Marlins win a world championship and he was about to lead a Padres' club to its first World Series since 1984. Although the team ended up getting swept by the New York Yankees, their appearance in the Fall Classic sparked San Diego to vote on a proposition that led to the building of a new downtown ballpark which would keep baseball in America's Finest City for years to come.

Brown was a hero in '98. He was a leader in the clubhouse and a mentor to the entire pitching staff. San Diego loved him. The city loved him, however, until December 12 of the same year when he bolted up the I-5 to accept the first ever 100-plus million dollar contract for a pitcher by signing with the Los Angeles Dodgers; the Padres' biggest rivals. Kevin Brown instantly became the most hated man in San Diego.

This afternoon I was sitting in my air-conditioned apartment watching a Giants/Rockies game when I had an epiphany. The Giants started the day off with just as many wins as the Padres, but with two more losses which put them at a full game behind the Friars for first place in the National League West. With the season crawling by, I've been watching the other teams in the Padres' division and keeping an eye on the standings at all times. I need the Padres to win every game and the other four teams to lose.

But why? Why am I so obsessed with baseball? Why do I care if the Padres win? What will change for me? As I sat watching and praying that the Rockies held their lead, I thought about my predicament. I thought about how insane it was to root for a team and how I continue to let my emotions get tied up by something that is completely out of my control. I still can't forget game 163 in 2007 when the same Rockies that I was reluctantly cheering for today beat my beloved Padres to claim the last remaining postseason berth. I thought about how an entire city could view Kevin Brown as a god and then hate his guts when he pulls on a different team's jersey.

It's no secret that I love the Padres. I want them to win every game. I hate how they've never won a World Series and that they are one of two teams that has never had a player throw a no-hitter or hit for the cycle. But how is my life going to be any different if they win it all? If the night ever comes when I witness them make that final out and celebrate on the infield, I will be jumping and screaming. I will be beside myself with joy, but how will the next day be any different? It won't. It would be one thing if I gambled, but I don't.

A doctor heals the sick. A veterinarian takes care of our pets. A mailman is responsible for delivering bills and letters to expecting people. But athletes? They make millions of dollars to throw a ball around as millions of people cheer for them. I can't comprehend it but if you'll excuse me, the game is about to start.